by Rupe | Aug 18, 2022 | Health-Wellness-Sex
Learn to identify self-criticism If you’re like many people, your self-criticism has become a deeply ingrained habit – it’s so automatic, you might not even realise you’re doing it.Yet recognising that you’ve fallen into self-criticism is the crucial first step in saving yourself from it and practising more self-compassion. As the psychiatrist Daniel Siegel puts it: ‘Name it to tame it.’ This step involves asking yourself questions that can help you understand your self-critical tendencies, rather than a
Source: How to be kinder to yourself | Psyche Guides
by Rupe | Jul 24, 2022 | Health-Wellness-Sex
The only thing that helps me focus is if I’m genuinely interested in what I’m doing.’ Sitting across my desk was Celia, a first-year undergraduate diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), who had attended my university’s ADHD summer camp when she was in middle school. As we caught up on the past five years of her life, she described how she’d felt unmotivated throughout her high-school years. Celia recalled her parents’ attempts to coax her interest in conventional subjects, such as mathematics and literature, without success. Looking down at her shoes, she described feeling left out and demoralized during her final year of high school when each of her friends had celebrated acceptances to rigorous universities.
There’s no doubt that adolescence can be incredibly challenging for girls and boys like Celia who have ADHD but, with sufficient support, they can thrive – as you’ll see when I return to Celia’s story later in this Guide.
Source: How to empower a teen with ADHD
by Rupe | Jul 17, 2022 | Inspiration, Reflections
Married or not you should read this…
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
Source: http://funnnyfunny.com/break-up-story/
My Comments: Did not expect the ending. Good stuff.
by Rupe | Jun 20, 2022 | Health-Wellness-Sex
When I first read Confucius, I was disappointed. He seemed like
a stick-in-the-mud, obsessed with enforcing the status quo. ‘As for music,’ he grumped to his disciples, ‘listen only to Shao and Wu. Prohibit the tunes of Zheng.’
This was the great sage of ancient China, who wandered the country lecturing disciples and rulers on how to live? Maybe his approach worked 2,500 years ago. But for me, in the 21st century? I preferred living freely like the iconoclastic Daoist sages who mocked Confucius.
Source: How to set yourself free with ritual | Psyche Guides
by Rupe | May 29, 2022 | Mad Musings
Whether you fear criticism, misjudge the passage of time, or get overwhelmed by the sheer size of your to-do list, procrastination is a problem that most with ADHD share. Learn three common reasons why we procrastinate, and try some of these great hacks to get started and to finish strong.
Source: ADHD Procrastination Strategies: Accomplish More, Feel Great
My Comment: This is simply awesome advice. I think I will be implementing some of them in the future. So much for getting held down by emails.
by Rupe | Mar 29, 2022 | Social-Race Issues
ONCE upon a time in my younger years and in the dawn of this century I wrote: “The problem of the Twentieth Century is the problem of the color line.” It was a pert phrase which I then liked and which since I have often rehearsed to myself, asking how far was it prophecy and how far speculation? Today, in the last year of the century’s first quarter, I propose to examine this matter again, and more especially in the memory of the great event of these great years, the World War. How deep were the roots of this catastrophe entwined about the color line? And of the legacy left, what of the darker race problems will the world inherit?
Source: Worlds of Color | Foreign Affairs
by Rupe | Oct 23, 2021 | Social-Race Issues
Britain ended its slave trade in 1807, and abolished slavery in much of its
colonial empire in 1834. Four years later, Queen Victoria was crowned. For British liberals, the timing was auspicious, and the lessons were obvious. The 18th-century empire of enslaved labour, rebellious colonies and benighted protectionism had been purified by the ‘sacrifice’ of the profits of slavery to the principles of free trade, free labour and free markets. But the empire that slavery made endured.
Although individual enslaved people were often brought to Britain by the people who claimed to own them, for most Britons, mass enslavement was something that happened ‘over there’ – in the colonies, especially the sugar-producing islands of the Caribbean. This fact of geography shaped British antislavery. The ‘mother country’ could also be the stern but benignant ‘father’, correcting children in the ‘infant colonies’. In the slave colonies, opposition to slavery could be a revolutionary threat to the social order. In Britain, antislavery affirmed Britain’s superior virtue in relationship to its empire.
Source: The British Empire was built on slavery then grew by antislavery | Aeon Essays
by Rupe | Oct 11, 2021 | Mentoring
Need to know
Your child screams out that you are stupid and demands that you leave him alone. Your teen responds to your well-intended piece of advice
with an eye-roll and a ‘Whatever.’ Your preschooler is having her fourth mammoth meltdown of the day over a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. You can’t seem to get your
kids to even brush their teeth when they are told to. And so you lose it. You blow up at them, releasing your pent-up emotions just like they do. You have to get them to change somehow, right? You are not alone. It happens to the most well-meaning parents.
Source: How to stop yelling at your kids | Psyche Guides
by Rupe | Oct 11, 2021 | Mad Musings
Whether it’s warring spouses, neighbourly disputes or broken friendships, it seems that disagreement followed by conflict is almost inevitable whenever people spend enough time together. And the more important the relationship, the more devastating that conflict can be. However, I hope to convince you that, while disagreement might be inevitable, there are ways you can take control to avoid escalation and bring out the best in you and the other person.
Source: Argue better by signalling your receptiveness with these words | Psyche Ideas
by Rupe | Oct 1, 2021 | Health-Wellness-Sex
Staying up late scrolling social media to avoid intimacy with your partner or, worse, pretending to be asleep, isn’t good for your marriage. But if you find yourself avoiding sex, you’re not alone: Approximately one woman in 10 experiences a decrease in her sex drive at some point in her life.
“That dip can happen for a number of reasons, including the natural progression of your relationship over time,” says Chris Kraft, Ph.D., director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic in the department of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medicine. “But you shouldn’t give up on having a great sex life once you’re married. Intimacy is key to having a healthy, functional and overall happy relationship.”
Source: Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage | Johns Hopkins Medicine
by Rupe | Sep 6, 2021 | Mad Musings
Two Chicago-area women say scammers bilked them out of $3,500 each by conning them over the phone and then using the Zelle mobile-payment system to withdraw money from their Bank of America accounts.
“It’s really distressing,” one of the women, Nausheen Brooks, told TV station WLS. “You save your hard-earned money to just be taken away from you.”
Source: Zelle scammers bilk bank customers out of thousands — how to avoid them [updated] | Tom’s Guide
My Comments: This is pretty serious stuff.
by Rupe | Aug 3, 2021 | Education, Mad Musings
Hey, parents who are about to drop your kid off at college for the first time. Can we talk?
As you usher your precious pearls through the archway of adulthood in the midst of a pandemic, you can either totally screw up this last milestone, or you can knock it out of the park. Let me help. My husband is the head of an undergraduate residential college at a midsized university, so I live in the same building as 200 freshmen. On move-in day, I have a front-row seat. And as a parent, I will soon be doing the big drop-off, too, so I’ve been thinking a lot about what I see.
Source: How to Drop Your New Adult Off at College | by Leslie Kleinberg Zacks | Forge
by Rupe | Jun 4, 2021 | Mentoring, Reflections
My father gave me two pieces of advice when I was very young. First, never dig a pile of dirt from the middle. (Shovel at the bottom, so the dirt falls into the blade.) And second, always live in a ranch-style home. (So you can still get around all of it when you’re old).
I was not raised by my father. My parents divorced when I was an infant, leaving my mother to raise four sons by herself. That’s why his advice didn’t involve anything time-consuming or with multiple steps, like how to shave or barbecue rib
Source: Why You Shouldn’t Tell Your Child to Have a Plan B | LEVEL
My Comments: Very interesting and insightful advice to parents.
by Rupe | Jun 4, 2021 | Education, Inspiration, Mentoring
JAHEIM HARRIS’ affinity for mathematics started back in basic school and continued at the Angels Primary School, where he got perfect scores in the subject throughout, and participated in numerous mathematics competitions as well as the Schools’ Challenge Quiz.
His recent outstanding performances in the Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate examinations (CSEC) has earned him the number one spot in additional mathematics and physics in the region on the recently released CSEC merit list.
Source: St Jago’s Jaheim Harris is Caribbean’s No. 1 in add math, physics | News | Jamaica Gleaner
My Comment: This young man has been a consistent performer from a very young age. I have watched him from a far grow into his potential. I think he has much more to do – so much more to accomplish.
by Rupe | Jun 1, 2021 | Military-Political, Social-Race Issues
For Stephanie Davis, who grew up with little, the military was a path to the American dream, a realm where everyone would receive equal treatment. She joined the service in 1988 after finishing high school in Thomasville, Georgia, a small town said to be named for a soldier who fought in the War of 1812.
Over the course of decades, she steadily advanced, becoming a flight surgeon, commander of flight medicine at Fairchild Air Force Base and, eventually, a lieutenant colonel
Source: Deep-rooted racism, discrimination permeate US military
My Comments:
This article is right on point. I can attest to that. lived it.
by Rupe | Apr 24, 2021 | Social-Race Issues
Darnella Frazier changed the course of history by tapping record on her smartphone. We can learn a lot from her about what to do when facing down badges, guns and a potentially dangerous situation.
On the way to the convenience store last May, Frazier came upon George Floyd being arrested by police officer Derek Chauvin. Then 17, Frazier recorded for 10 minutes and nine seconds, during which Floyd was murdered.
Source: How to record police with your smartphone – The Washington Post
by Rupe | Apr 11, 2021 | Education, Money Matters, Social-Race Issues
Je’lon Alexander is a Morehouse Man who graduated in 2018. He has roughly $55,000 in debt, even after a $15,000 annual scholarship. His parents, who have advanced degrees and close to $400,000 of debt between them, deferred their loans and took jobs on opposite sides of the country so they could contribute as much as they could to his education. (Je’lon, too, is deferring his loans while he pursues his master’s degree at Georgia State, with plans to get his PhD.) When Je’Lon’s mother was interviewed for my book, “The Whiteness of Wealth,” she said she did not regret any of these choices, despite the steep costs.
This is an absolute read for parents of black kids – Source: WAPO
by Rupe | Feb 26, 2021 | Money Matters, Social-Race Issues
Income and wealth disparities along racial lines have repercussions for all aspects of life in the U.S.: education, health, homeownership, retirement, and life expectancy.
Racial inequality in the United States has many dimensions, but one of the most impactful and broad-ranging is economic. On average, people of color experience significantly lower levels of income, retirement savings, and rates of homeownership than white Americans. Those shortfalls contribute mightily to other ill effects: poorer healthcare outcomes, lower educational attainment, and shorter life expectancies, for example. The pandemic has exacerbated many of these issues.
Source: MorningStar
by Rupe | Jan 2, 2021 | Inspiration
by Rupe | Jul 9, 2020 | Mentoring, Social-Race Issues
Eddie C. Brown is the founder, chairman, chief executive and senior portfolio manager of Brown Capital.
I was raised in the Jim Crow South, when the railroad tracks separated whites from blacks and African Americans were considered second-class citizens. Raised by common laborers who worked hard in Florida’s citrus groves, I had my world widened by weekend excursions to Orlando, where seeing white men in suits and ties behind desks left an impression. It was there where possibility was seeded.
I began my investment career as the first African American portfolio manager at T. Rowe Price in 1973, not because of some quota or the good graces of white executives, but because the meritocratic model made me visible and managers were supportive. After 10 years in the business, I became an entrepreneur.
Source: WAPO
My Comments: I found Mr. Brown’s piece in the Washington Post to be very insightful, timely and important reading for African Americans still trying to eek out a piece of the American dream.
by Rupe | Jun 12, 2020 | Social-Race Issues
Christine Benz
Attribution: This article was posted on Morningstar.com by the veritable Christine Benz. I could not help but post it on my blog because this is the clearest I have ever seen the numbers laid down that describes in pure detail what racism looks like.
Income and wealth disparities along racial lines have repercussions for all aspects of life in the U.S.: education, health, homeownership, retirement, and life expectancy.
Racial inequality in the United States has many dimensions, but one of the most impactful and broad-ranging is economic. On average, people of color experience significantly
lower levels of income, retirement savings, and rates of homeownership than white Americans. Those shortfalls contribute mightily to other ill effects: poorer healthcare outcomes, lower educational attainment, and shorter life expectancies, for example.
Making strides toward improving these issues, let alone solving them, is far from simple. But a key first step is acknowledging and understanding the magnitude of the problem. And if there’s a single positive associated with financial inequality along racial lines, it’s that it’s incredibly easy to demonstrate with data.
Here are some key statistics about the impact of the racial divide for income, savings, and overall financial well-being.
(more…)
by Rupe | Jun 6, 2020 | Inspiration, Mad Musings, Reflections
1. Don’t make a belief about “living in the moment.” Either do not trust that purchasing new bags, shoes, or clothes can give you extra points, yet don’t think it is cool to squander. Before the age of 30, you need to save money and accumulate assets for yourself. Cash is your fundamental courage and confidence when faced with difficulties.
2. Hold the strongest desire to win and insist on self-improvement. If you go all out, you will have no regrets even if you fail. (more…)
by Rupe | May 1, 2020 | Mad Musings, Reflections
Really like this list – lifted from Quora by Kelly Duncan:
- Intelligent people do not like to gossip, they like talking about idea and innovations. Hence, they cannot just be friends with everybody. Average people sometimes gossips, belittle and jealous a lot.
- Intelligent people are capable of having a conversation on different topics eg, Politics, world news, mathematics, just anything. They talk with facts and sometimes with exact dates. Average people just blah blah blah !!!
- They listen a lot and a lot, if you notice someone in a group sitting quietly at the corner and listening before making any contribution to the conversation, he or she is likely an intelligent person.
- They know the value of time, so they act on purpose and plan.
- They are prone to a migraine and other types of headaches because they worry a lot, they analyze intuitively.
- Intelligent people help other people grow in life, they are not afraid of you overtaking them. Their mission is entirely different.
- Intelligent people believe in continuous learning and self-development.
- Some of them might have some kind of boring life like not going to the nightclub, running after women (vice versa), watching TV etc. They engage themselves in activities that are profitable to their knowledge and they also practice ‘’Delayed gratification’’.
- They are quick to change. Average people do not want to get out of their comfort zone because of fear. Intelligent people get out of their comfort zone because they can easily adapt.
- Intelligent people do things differently, they do not follow the crowd. Unfortunately, many of us were raised to follow the crowd.
- Intelligent people are very creative.
- Intelligent people stay up late. They might be busy working on some projects or doing some findings.
- Ignorant people always assume that they are brilliant while intelligent people doubt their abilities, hence the reason why they learn more and more.
- People tend to see intelligent people as lazy people because they try to make difficult work easier.
- They have this curiosity in them, they ask questions a lot. They always want to know!! Know !! Know !! Hence, they are always open-minded.
- They usually have messy desks, they are not organized.
- They usually don’t believe in the social media of a thing. If they do, probably just for networking or moderately.
- Average people live to impress, intelligent people are just living their life. Your opinion about their lifestyle doesn’t matter.
- They are very humorous and happy. They connect with other people easily.
- While you carry your cell phone first when leaving the house, an intelligent person cares more about not forgetting his pen and a sheet of paper.
See it here – https://qr.ae/pNrEU2
by Rupe | Apr 22, 2020 | philosophy-religion, Reflections
I just love this list that I lifted from Quora – written by Jasmin Mous, 
- Evil exists. There are people who have chosen to destroy everything and everyone that comes into their way.
- Empathy is NOT a motto to live by. It is a skill for you and you only. If you live by being full of empathy for everyone it becomes a blind spot for people to use against you.
- If you stay too long anywhere, you usually end up wasting time without realizing. Job, relationship..
- People don’t want to hear the truth. They want to hear what sounds “good” and “reasonable”.
- Education makes a nation great. College is not overrated. When it is turned into a commodity then question the system and not the college experience.
- “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
- If you never go out of your comfort zones, you will stay very simple thinking you are very complex.
- Sometimes you do have to be the bigger one and no one will be there to applaud you for it.
- It takes courage not to offer confusion but solutions to this world.
- Contrary to popular belief vulnerability does not equal weakness. It equals strength.
- Manipulation is shunned yet everybody manipulates every day. Better to be aware than to ignore.
- Love does not hurt. Idealizing does.
- Nothing will get you through life like mental resilience can.
- Whether you believe in god, karma or pure consequences, this life will give you everything back you put in. Nothing more, nothing less.
- If you chase pleasure instead of pain, you will look back with regret. The easier route never leads to anything.
by Rupe | Apr 21, 2020 | Frugal-Me, Money Matters, philosophy-religion
The below list was lifted from Quora and is authored by Adam Fayed Founder of Global Online Financial Advisory Firm. I really like this list a lot. I think just successful is enough though – not just ultra successful. I am even sure what ultra successful means. I suppose there is something to be said about degrees.
The ability to delay gratification
- Focus
- Determination
- Persistence
- They are less influenced by the majority
- They are readers
- They invest in themselves
- They invest in financial projects
- They are open-minded
- They also take care of their health and other things which aren’t directly linked to their wealth
- They take personal responsibility
- They are less focused on losses, and more on gains, or a realistic view of gains/losses. Most people are more focused on avoiding loss.
- Focus on the long-term
- They learn from their mistakes
- And the mistakes of others
by Rupe | Dec 24, 2019 | Education
The idea is ingrained in our pop culture. Parents, teachers, high school guidance counselors, financial aid officers, and students all understand that if a high school graduate wants to achieve 
success she will have to go to college. This is the conventional wisdom. Thirty years ago it was true. Today the conventional wisdom is wrong. College is not for everyone.
Of every four students enrolling in college only one will graduate and get a good job. The other three are just wasting time and money. This amounts to billions of dollars and millions of man hours squandered every year. Our government and the universities blissfully ignore this fact. The government’s unwritten policy is, “college is for everyone regardless of cost.” They provide “free” money in the form of loans to anyone who applies without any concern about the borrower’s ability to repay. The university administrators live a posh lifestyle and have little or no concern about operating costs. They understand that they can raise tuition every year and, if the students fall short financially, there is always that government money to fill the gap. Even better the administrators get paid whether or not their students learn, graduate, or get a job.
Read More…
by Rupe | Dec 24, 2019 | Education
Secret document
This is an excellent piece from Quora, written by a gent by the name of Brett Elkins:
Here is what I have found after working with kids and talking at length with many college admissions to find the college admissions secrets.
here are some great tips and secrets to help you navigate the process:
- grades grades grades and then more grades. Not for every school, but you can’t camouflage or sugar coat or breath spray great grades. Colleges usually count this as the all important factor and with so many kids applying, they may not even look at your application if it’s not in their general gpa ballpark. So make sure you hit it out. Keep Reading
by Rupe | Apr 9, 2019 | Education
You have a child attending college soon? Then get to know those acronyms! But wait — there’s more, so much more! You will be editing an endless stream of essays! You will be there to console your child if he or she is rejected from a “dream” school! And you may even have to deal with the dreaded, inscrutable…waitlist!
And here’s the best part: This journey will likely cost you tens of thousands of dollars!
We’re at the end in our household — well, the end of choosing a college, anyway. It’s down to three schools. But let’s go back to the beginning and start tackling those acronyms.
Source: Dailykos
My Comments: I am familiar with most of these sites, but it was such a compact articles with lots of information, I want to get it on my site.
by Rupe | Apr 3, 2019 | Education, Health-Wellness-Sex, Mentoring
We adults all experience it, hate it, and deal with it. Over the years we’ve learned ways of handling stress that work best for us. (It’s the reason some of us devour pounds of chocolate…)
Our college students are different, though. They’ve been shielded somewhat from the stress of what we call “real life.” Growing up, yes, they experienced the stress of trying to make good grades, succeed at extracurricular activities, and fit in with different groups of people. However, they had their parents around back then. When they took on too much, we helped them prioritize and streamline their commitments. When they were over tired, we made them go to bed. When they didn’t feel well, we kept them home from school and made them soup and Jello. We were back-up alarm clock and day planner. That was our job as parents.
Source: University Parent
My Comment: This site has been a great source over the years. So thankful for it.
by Rupe | Mar 24, 2019 | Fitness, Health-Wellness-Sex
sitting outdoors
It seems a simple enough challenge: Sit down on the floor and get back up without the help of your hands or knees. Try it, though, and you might discover it’s not as easy as it sounds.
This “sitting-rising” exercise was designed to predict mortality in middle-aged and older people. The test was devised by a team led by Claudio Gil Araújo, a Brazilian physician and researcher in exercise and sports medicine, and published in the European Journal of Cardiovascular Prevention in 2012. It resurfaces periodically in media outlets or online, causing widespread alarm regarding mortality among the many people (of all ages) who can’t seem to get themselves off the ground. We decided to find out whether that worry is warranted.
Source: WAPO
My Comments:
This is a pretty interesting test. I am able to do it now, but I am not really sure what that really means. And I certainly don’t have the flexibility to get up like the female in the video.
